Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So many bounce houses so little time
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
