thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
