GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
