found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Please don't give away my fajitas
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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