i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
