it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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