I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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