i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
