I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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