She said her name was "party"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I wish you could order shots online.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just puked most of my soul out..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
