just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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