3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
