i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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