I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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