Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
