Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
