You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
