I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
