He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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