xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How's work?
Spinning.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize