maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
