Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
