his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
