Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
