biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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