Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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