Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
