Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
