so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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