White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize