don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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