he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
