i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wish there were birth control emojis
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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