Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
