He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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