and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They took my balls.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
