Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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