6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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