well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
