He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
