Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
