Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
