help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
