Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
