Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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