Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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