I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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