Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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