I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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