thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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