So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
