so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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