He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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