I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to make out with him forever
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
