Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
