just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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