We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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