If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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