he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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