Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
