I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
