Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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