Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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