i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize