So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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