I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
